Introduction....

Welcome,

I wanted to start off by introducing myself. Give you a little insight into what I've been dealing with for the past few years. I started this blog to help others who are going through a total hysterectomy at a young age. I am 30 years old now and started this journey when I was only 26. Back around 2007 I started getting really sick. I was in extreme abdominal pain constantly. I went to the doctors and was told that I had large fibroids and multiple cysts on my ovaries. We decided to play the watch and wait game. Let's just say that looking back on this I wish that I had done more sooner. Maybe things wouldn't have gotten so bad. My condition was not improving so I went to see my Primary Care doctor again. This time I saw his Nurse Practitioner who took a special interest in my case. She ran a lot of blood work on me and determined that I needed a blood transfusion right away due to very heavy periods. Let's just say that I was very nervous. This was not what I was expecting to have happen when I went in for a visit. I was hospitalized that day overnight with a OBGYN consult. I had my first of many blood transfusions that very evening. I was visiting my mom so my husband was not there to help me through this scary time. After speaking with my obgyn they decided to do an ultrasound to get a better feel for what was going on. After the ultrasound they felt that it would be best to do a D&C procedure. So within a week I went in for my first of 5 surgeries.

Let's fast forward a little. I tried multiple doctors, surgeries, hospital stays for antibiotics, PICC Line for more antibiotics. You name it we tried it. All to keep from having to do a total hysterectomy. It was always in the back of my mind as a last resort because I had discussed the possibility of needing one with my doctors. I was eventually diagnosed with Severe Endometriosis, Fibroids, Adnomyomas, PID(Due to constant infection from the Endometriosis), and PCOD(Poly Cystic Ovarian Disease). After over two years of fighting what felt like a never ending battle my doctor and I decided that a partial hysterectomy needed to be done. He thought that my tubes were causing the complications I was experiencing. So on the day before Halloween of 2009 I went in for my first major surgery. The doctor removed my tubes, cysts from my ovaries and tried to remove as many adhesion's as possible. I had a full abdominal incision and was hospitalized for 4 days. Once I completely healed I noticed a big difference in my pain level. I felt like things were finally going to be okay. Within months everything changed. The pain came roaring back. It was worse than ever. My bleeding would go on for weeks at a time. It truly was taking full control over my life. During one of my appointments with my GYN Oncologists we discussed our fertility options. Since I was only 28 years old at the time we wanted to try to have a baby before we took any drastic measures to fight this horrible disease. After speaking with an infertility specialist where we were told it would not be possible for me to ever carry a child then deep down I knew what I needed to do. On my next check up with my oncologists I went by myself. During that appointment we both realized exactly how serious and life threatening my condition was again. It was decided at that appointment that I needed to have a Total Radical Abdominal Hysterectomy. That is where they completely remove everything. I was so nervous and heartbroken. I remember walking into the other room with my hands trembling trying to tell the nurse I needed to set up an appointment for my surgery. Just having to say the word hysterectomy cut deep into my soul. I had always wanted to experience child birth and the joy of carrying a baby to term. I knew at that very moment any dreams I still had of ever being able to do that were over. The surgery was scheduled for about two weeks later.

On June 4, 2010 I had a total hysterectomy at 28 years old. I remember my pre-op appointment that my mom took me too. I was so nervous. It was so heartbreaking to listen to the nurse describe everything that was going to take place before, during and after my surgery. I kept wishing there was another way but I knew there wasn't. I remember asking with tears in my eyes and my voice trembling was I the youngest person to ever have this done at their hospital. The nurse looked at me with tears in her eyes and said yes! At that moment I realized she could feel my pain. She understood how scared, angry, and heartbroken I was all at the same time. The fact that I'm a nurse didn't seem to make this any easier. In a way it made it harder. I hated the fact that I could help heal other people but not myself. I felt betrayed by my own body. I kept repeating to myself how could this be.... how could I not have any control over my body? I kept wondering what was the reason behind this. Everybody would say god doesn't give you more than you can handle.... well to me that wasn't true. This ordeal was so much more than I could handle. My heart was breaking and nobody around me knew exactly what to say. At 28 years old I was having to give up on a dream that I had all my life. I understood why it needed to be done but I hated it.

By writing this blog I hope to continue on the emotional healing process. I also want to talk about a subject that so many women have to go through. Especially young women! I want this to be a place where you can get answers to your questions. Where by reading this blog you have a better idea of what life is like after a hysterectomy. For the ones who are going through the same pain that I am, just know that you are not alone! Together we can get through this!! Thank you for taking the time to read my blog! I hope that my story can help bring you comfort. Until next time.... Have an amazing day! *hugs*