Recovery

Recovering from surgery. First day home from the hospital.

Recovery.....

The picture shown above was taken after my first major surgery the day I got home from the hospital. Little did I know the long road I would still have ahead of me. I remember my husband taking this picture and us talking about how everything was going to be better now. We dreamed about the future again and where life would take us now. At the time I still had the dream of being able to carry a baby. I was still hopeful that everything would be okay. I remember thinking that I was well on my way to overcoming the worst part. I was so excited about soon being out of pain. In the very back of my mind I always wondered what if this doesn't work. I also thought about what happened if the pain came back. I quickly tried to put those thoughts out of my mind. I was determined to only think positive. I remember asking my husband all of those questions and he quietly said we will cross that bridge if we come to it. For now lets focus on getting you better. That phrase was something I had heard from him more times then I liked to recall. I felt so bad because it seemed like our lives were always focused on getting me better. We rarely had time to actually enjoy them. I was determined to get my life back. To keep fighting and praying that this surgery would do the trick.

Little by little, day by day I slowly improved. I had a minor set back within the first week. My wound site(which was over 6 inches wide) got infected. Still I kept positive. I remember trying to smile and gently laugh more. For me laughter is one of the best medicines. By Thanksgiving I was really starting to feel better. I was still very sore because it had been less than a month since my surgery but I was determined to not let my illness hold me back any longer. I took my first big healing step that Friday! I went out on my yearly Black Friday shopping. I wasn't cleared to drive yet so my husband came with me. We got up in the middle of the night ready to take on the stores. I felt more alive then I had in years. I was so excited to do something that took my mind off of being sick. For those few hours I was just like everybody else. Yes, I walked slower. Had to take more breaks, but I was doing it. It had been a goal of mine from before my surgery to make it out on Black Friday. I felt the relationship between my husband and I grow. We were finally doing something fun. I was no longer surrounded by IV pumps and drainage tubes. I no longer was stuck on bed rest. I felt renewed. To others it may not have seemed like much. To me it was everything. In those moments I was free. I finally felt like I was starting to take my life back.

I was and still am thankful to be surrounded by such amazing people. When I was recovering in the hospital they took such wonderful care of me. Friends and family routinely stopped by to check on me and help remind themselves that yes I was going to be okay! I got lots of cards, flowers, and balloons. I can't even begin to explain how much they helped me. When the pain got to be to much or I was feeling down I simply looked over and saw that so many people loved me. I took all of that love and put it into fighting my ass off to get better.  I did a few little things to make the process easier for the ones I loved more than anything. I made a huge goodie bag for my mom. I knew she would be nervous so I went to the store a few days before my surgery and got all of her favorite things. I picked up some candy and little snacks. Things that she could munch on while she waited. Some magazines and a new book. I also threw in a few bottles of water and a couple other little surprises. I tried to think of everything she would need to make this easier on her. I knew she would be scared so I wanted her to look at that bag for added comfort. I had my husband wait to give it to her until I was already back for surgery. I knew that's when she would need it the most. Of course since this was taking place the day before Halloween I had to make goodie bags for the nurses and all my family/friends who may stop by on Halloween. Let's just say they were a big hit!!! My mom got me a huge Halloween bowl to put them in. I was so excited when all the nurses stopped by my room to Trick or Treat!!! It made things bearable! For those brief moments I was truly happy. The pain subsided and I could enjoy making someones day brighter. Their happiness helped me more than I can ever fully explain.

If you are currently fighting this battle I want you to know that things do get better. Life can go back to normal. You can feel better than ever. Even if it only lasts a little while....... Those few precious pain-free moments are what made me keep fighting. They reminded me of what my life could be like. Should be like! You may feel like you're being beat up from the inside out. Trust me I fully understand that feeling but, it does get better! Hang in there! Fight your heart out!! Don't give up on the life that you want! Go for it all!! You can live a much better life. The one that you can barely remember now because it seems like so long ago. It's still there! You're still in there I promise!! Take the first step and promise yourself that no matter what you will never give up! You may have bad days where you feel like giving in but you will keep fighting. You will face your hysterectomy head on and say bring it on! You are so much stronger than you even realize! It's gonna hurt like hell but it will be so very worth it!!! If this blog can help just one woman I will feel so blessed. If you or somebody you love is facing a hysterectomy just know that you're not alone. There is help out there. People that you can lean on for support! Lean on them!! Get back all of the support you have given out over the years!!! It's time to collect on all the love you gave! Now it's time to let others take care of you for a change. I know how hard that is! I never said it would be easy! What I will say is that it's WORTH IT!!!! <3